Don’t die with Your Music still in you!

Peace & Love,

Light..

A.D.D

Earlier today I was listening to Elizabeth Lesser’s book, Marrow, and I just had to share something I read there that resonated with me. Before I do, just to share that every book I read-that I reach out to read and/or it finds me- comes when I am facing something that is challenging in my life that is calling me to further growth and self/understanding. I loved Elizabeth Lesser’s book Broken Open, which I read maybe 10 years , or so, ago. Her soul speaks to and resonates with mines in an effortless and easy way.

I chose this book, which I am going to share an excerpt from, during this time of death being so very much part of our lives and the world with the advent of Covid -19. In the midst of covid-19 and its sudden prevalence of high death rates, especially back in March and April, and having experienced the loss of loved ones losing loved ones, I felt the need to make peace, again, with death: with this twin that comes with human life, which we humans finds hard to accept and live with, let alone bare when it comes knocking. I very much wanted to find a way to quell the fear in the world and the fear in my everyday, so off I went searching for the right (now) book. Books have always been My Way: My Way to find A Way.

Okay, now to share the excerpt that Spoke to me today and Inspired me to share it here…

“It never ceases to amaze me how much we all suffer from ADD, not Attention Deficient Disorder. The ADD I am talking about is Authenticity Deficiency Disorder, a condition you will not find in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders because I made it up…

But still, it is real and like many disorders Authenticity Deficiency Disorder manifest along a spectrum…

Some of us have a mild case: we go through the day with a low grade embarrassment of being human, hesitant to show our true face with all its odd and magnificent irregularities; reluctant to look inside and do some house cleaning and get to the marrow of the self…

Others of us fall on the more serious end of the Authenticity Deficiency Disorder spectrum: our sense of inadequacy and shame is overwhelming and crippling. Serious Authenticity Deficiency Disorder can take the form of depression, anxiety, fear, isolation; it can hold us back from fully living; it can make intimacy impossible…

Most of us fall in the middle of the Authenticity Deficiency Disorder spectrum: sometimes pleased about who we are, sometimes ashamed. Sometimes clear about our paths in life; oftentimes befuddled and stuck…

In the privacy of our own nutty heads we imagine everyone else got the instruction book, but not us. Indeed, we suspect there may be something uniquely wrong with us, but we keep that insecurity to ourselves; we keep it secret…

And then we try to cover it up with all different sorts of facades and defenses that over a lifetime becomes habitual. We try to look the part of someone whose got it all together…

Depending on what we think the world wants from us, we try to sound cool, act strong, be smart. Or maybe we hide behind a macho mask, or a good girl persona. Maybe we act the good girl part when what is called for is a rebel; or maybe we act the rebel even though there is nothing to fight..

Meanwhile, back in the Marrow, our shining soul is what the world really wants…

…but we don’t believe that.

We believe the opposite: that if we look too deep or share too much our basic unacceptability would be found out…

So, we relate to each other on the surface because if we reveal too much- show our cards, we won’t be loved, or won’t be accepted , or won’t belong…

We’d be taken advantaged of, we’d be judged, and excluded…

But that is a supreme misunderstanding…”

And so Lesser goes on…

Similarly, I believe that this world and its inhabitants have a supreme case of Authenticity Deficiency Disorder…I also believe that death scares us so when we are not living an authentic life; when we are not being our authentic self. Death scares us so when we know deep inside that we are not living a life pleasing to ourselves & to our true potential. That is what we are here to do and be, not carbon copies, not what the world tells us is acceptable; not how the world pigeon box us. We are, and we have, Agency.

Isn’t that what deathbeds regrets are full of….? Life-Unlived.…woulda coulda shouldas…

As the lyrics of a song says (the name of which escapes me) Be yourself; everyone else is taken..

I had it too, and am recovering therefrom…Daring Greatly every single day to be me, simply…

Peace & Love,

Light…

P.s. Let Your Authentic Shine Bright…

The world, like never before (in our time), needs Your Light…

Needs Your Difference-Making..August 31, 2020Leave a Reply

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Love Is Life

Love Is For Life,

Not just for St- Tek yuh money- Valentines🤗

Peace & Love,

Light..

Sometimes, when you hit a Cross

Road… a Hard Road,

And have been on Road

Quite a while..

Sometimes,

You gotta Come Off Road,

Go Self- Explore…

Innerstand…Re-Direct Your Course.

I know, I’ve done so.

You Have To Do Some Big-

At First Scary- Ting,

At those Places;

Or, forever remain,

Loss to Self In Our World…

In this Cra Cra Wise & Wonder Full World.

Lost in Our Stories…then,

The Grave. Change!

The One Life To Live

On The One Road Called Life…

So, what’s Your Pleasure?

What’s Your Adventure?

Permission Granted, if needed,

To Please Your Good Self..

And Live…

Your LionHearted Tale;

Your Magnificent Myth-

Irrespective of what goes on in This world We Together Live,

Move & Have Our Being.

Peace & Love,

Light..

As Marcus Garvey said, without CONFIDENCE the black child/adult is twice defeated in the race of life. It is a political act raising confident black children, and in so doing, counteracting Internalised Racism, the kind brought to attention in the infamous “black doll white doll” experiment. The black doll white doll experiment, first carried out in 1940’s, still yields similar results today. See the YouTube video at the end of this blog.

By the time both black and white children reach age 3, racism-especially in the cementation of the black child/adult self-hatred and the white child/ adult white superiority complex- have settled into un/consciousness for the night, but does not have to be so for life/times.

In my book, Back to love, released early this year, as part of my psychological healing, I write about how I suffiently undone my own systematic internalised racism, and in so doing, afforded myself a more real, true and complete recovery, one that blew me way out of “statistic” into the land of sweet milk & honey. I got back in the race and am running it pretty well with lots of Self-Confidence today!

Ain’t no stopping me now! Which reminds me of that McFadden & Whitehead tune: Ain’t No Stopping Us Now. Love it (smiles).

There is still that little 3-year-old and 11-year-old girl inside me who swallowed wholesale what the world told her she was and the inferior place she should occupy in the world. But I continue to nurture & nourish her Well, feeding her thoughts of How Great Thou Are…Thou Art… The same Nourishment I fed my sons and I feed all my relations, and counselling clients.

Like already mentioned- and to me, obviously, white children are also impacted by internalised racism, which psychologically hurts them as well, as most human beings, in their right minds knows, no race is superior to others. Fact. The perpetrated miseducation of white supremacy can be relatively dismantled, especially in education, and most definitely in the home, where it first takes Impressionable Hold. The human being’s first society is The Family/Home…remember, in the experiment these children were only 3 years old..

To well-meaning white folks, do not dwell in guilt for long, especially if you are not actively and consciously doing wrong. Guilt is there to change behaviour and keep us Morally Well. Our Consciences-our Internal High Court House, pushes through feelings of guilt to keep human beings in check. Though human beings, even as children, have a natural conscience, when it comes to the indoctrination of internalised racism, conscience is thrown out of balance, and working order.

As babies we arrive into a broken world & its systems. On the macroscopic scale the system- a friend of mines calls the shitstem, is still in desperate need of healing & recovery itself. Let yourself Face & Feel the guilt of the good feelings derived from feeling/being privileged…you did not first make that a thing, but you can release that now and come back down on more equal footing & ground, and in so doing, keep Progress and Personal & Collective Growth Moving…You can’t have one foot in and the other out, depending on circumstance; depending on when push comes to shove.

The Pandemic is here to Wake Up…don’t fall back into an ignorance that is only bliss in the land of privilege. Also, please allow black folks to talk as long as they need to feel heard & have the ongoing pain & present day hurt acknowledged : that’s how trauma is healed. Being Pro-black does not mean being anti-white. I’m tired of feeling I have to state this matter of fact.

WE ARE OUR BROTHER & SISTERS KEEPERS. We cannot Progress without LIVING THIS HUMANE ACT… Neither can Planet Earth…simple mathematics…not rocket science.

The Totally Unsubstantiated White Supremacy Myth- which some have argued, and I agree, to be a malignant addiction, is a fallacy. White supremacy is a malignant addiction to a false high: to a self-esteem fix, a fix that tries to assuage the racist’s largely unconscious & deep-seated feelings of Inferiority. It is therapy that the racist belief system needs, not the blood sweat and tears of black folks. Building self-esteem off scapegoated black folks to feel good about themselves and gain some meaning & purpose in their confused & twisted unhappy inner world, I believe, is on its last legs. The Racist’s blatant inhumanity to hueman stands in the way of said Progress. Life moves forwards, not backwards.

I believe racism is 100 Percent a Personality Disorder & one day it- and all deviant acts arising out of the delusion that it is- will be classified on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

Racism, to my mind, is a derisive and divisive dis-Order of mind and just like an out of control aggressive cancer, rips and tears a-part: turns the human organism upon and against itself. In the Western World, that cancer, that is racism, has been infecting societal institutions for long enough. It is time to cut it out: and it is time to cut out pretending that you/we don’t see it. Time to rock that boat! The time is undeniable Now.

Life, in its true essence & by its very nature, is benevolent, not malignant; is Unifying, not dividing. It does not have hatred in its body & make-up. And we have been made in that Imagine & Likeness, should we humans work daily to keep Real-Eyes–In. As Rumi puts it beautifully:

You Are Not A Drop In The Ocean. You Are The Entire Ocean In A Drop..

OUT OF ONE, MANY.

May we stop selling ourselves short..

https://theconversation.com/what-i-learned-when-i-recreated-the-famous-doll-test-that-looked-at-how-black-kids-see-race-153780

Peace & Love,

Light..

Living Life to the fullest, however I find myself, means, at this time, fully embracing existential angst & trauma triggers.

That reminder helped me just now to feel, even at a low, that Life remains good, and needs no fixing- just embracing & accepting, knowing Life has its seasons..

So I don’t have to Positive away my blues today. This too shall pass, so gotta ride this emotional storm out, and trust Daybreak – in Her Clarifying Steadfastness, to bring me back to Bliss..

The Ground on which my one true Spirit lives…in its Naturalness…So, I hold to This, as an infant in need of nourishment holds to its mother’s breast, hoping to be fed, on its way to rest…

One of my favourite quote says, “A heart that has learned to trust can be at rest in the world.”

Past trauma/triggers can have you, for mere survival (back then), believing this world cannot be trusted, so it’s best not to relax and let your guard down..

Turning mistrust around has been some kinda Journey; nevertheless, a Journey I remain on, and remain 💯 committed to. Love help/s me..

Peace & Love,

Light..