Fear of Change ©

The following is an extract taken from a book I am currently writing and putting together. Watch this space for further information on that, as well as on my autobiography, two pieces of work which I hope to have published one day.

Fear of Change

I will begin these reflections with an article entitled The Fear of Change, which I wrote in 2000 for an independent magazine called Executive Black Women. I was one of their quarterly featured writers, writing on the theme of personal development, self-transformation, and realising dreams.  I came upon this article recently and thought that I would include it here in this collection. Good to see, 18 years on, I am still very much on track in regard to my own self-rediscovery, living of my truth, and overall following of my bliss.

Avoiding facing our fears is the greatest obstacle in living the life that we have imagined, even if we have only done so, quietly and fleetingly, in the secret chambers of our hearts.  A Jamaican folklore says, “De higher a monkey clime, de more ‘im exposed;” meaning, the higher a monkey climbs, the more fear it is exposed to as a natural part of the growth process and course, therefore fear per se ought not put us off. Fear, like change is a natural part of life and need not impede us in our forward movements in it.

The urgency and need for personal and collective change remains ever urgent as it was at the turn of the new millennium when I wrote this article – and as it had been at other crucial points in human history. The hope of change and all the good that comes with taking risks and going out on limbs, I believe is the call of us human beings: the next step on our evolutionary ladder. Dare we take it? Even though very scary at first, stepping out on faith is always richly rewarded. I have found this to be the case time and again in my own life, as well as in the lives of my clients during my accompaniment with them on their very brave ‘know thyself’ inner terrain Journeys.

Every day is an act and a jumping in on faith. For example, faith in the hope that the day will turn out well; that tomorrow will be given us; that our loved ones will be well; that all the invisible hands that ensures we have all the things we need to get us through our day will be there daily doing the same, like the supplying of electricity and gas, the nicely packaged ready and waiting food; like public transport running and being on time to get us and take us daily from and to our various A’s and B’s.

So we already get a lot of practice in faith and stepping out on it, be it though for most of us this living in faith is a more unconscious than conscious way of living and being. When we truly get how much of our living and being is an act of faith and let that faith be more consciously in operation and action in our lives, we can come to experience life more graciously, and gratefully, taking nothing for granted, and appreciating everything, which in turn brings with it more lasting inside-out happiness. An inside-out happiness that spills over into all our relationships: those with our nearest and dearest as well as our brotherhood of man.


Peace & Love,


Crowning glory…©

My life, at this time- as well as on and off all-around, is being crowned, like the crowning a new baby’s head does during the most painful part of giving birth. Being a mother of 2 who have had natural births, I can say that in my life to date, there is no pain like it. This past 18 months in particular right through to this current date I have had to face-and have been knocked up by- some huge life events, the kinds one does not see coming. The only time I am not too bothered by the traumas I have experienced throughout my childhood, is when I am facing life events such as these. During those moments-and having gained much emotional and psychological recovery these past 31 years, I am able to be present in the heart of the situation, like the calm eye at the centre of a storm.

In that quiet I am able to See The Crossroads; I am able to see clearly the choices that lies in front of me: do I give into despair and allow myself to be totally overcome by the situation at hand, or do I choose to use that Holy Instant to reaffirm my truth, strengthen my capabilities, and put to work my faith? Do I put my money where my mouth is from all the life lessons and healing I have acquired to date? For me now, that is a no brainer, though I do feel the temptation to lose myself in victim, as I did as a child not having the mental, emotional, cognitive capacity and life experience not to do so. Then I had to go into unconscious survivor mode.

Presently, in that Holy Instant moment when unconscious survival mode beckons as option, I can also  hear my mother’s lamentations of “Why Me’s!?!” Why did bad things always happen to her; that life is just no good, just a dangerous menacing unfair place that likes to target her in particular. Within all that quiet and the echoes of adult voices past, I am able to remain awake and use the manure of the shitty situation to improve myself- and reaffirm my faith.

To reaffirm my faith in a basic goodness in life that mostly wants good for my life, us being in Like-kind. My trust and faith in the intrinsic goodness of Life reminds me that bad things happens to people and I am not exempt from that human condition. I am humble enough to know that I am not so special that bad things ought not to happen to me, but to them other there…maybe. I am not to take it personally,  though the irony is, it is experienced as such.

Being human, the impact of the various life events does shake me and take a toll, though not for long, as the older I get I know that I will have to take some kind of time out and give myself some tender loving self care- and open myself out to receiving that from trusted others. I am knowing that all that has happened to me these past 18 months in particular, is the crowning effect, as in the midst of it I am bearing much precious fruits. Indeed, these past 4 years my creative juices have distinctly been set to overflow, using as grist for the mill all my joys and pains so I may become even more of my good self.

And in that flow,  I naturally turn and happily share my findings, being there for others in their deserts, offering encouragement. This is where I feel most alive, where I feel such generosity of heart, and appreciation of myself, my life, and all that I have. In spite of it all, as Charlie Wilson sang, “I’m blessed, I’m Blessed, I’m blessed.”

Peace & Love,