I Accept; I Surrender…©

Surrender & Acceptance, my two Personal Powerhouse Assistants, that I am currently being called to make better use of.

Acceptance, Surrenders’ little brother, is asking of me, for psychological well-being, to allow all that is currently on my plate to simply be there, for however long it needs to be. To take this time in my life, one day at a time- and stretch that out further still when the going get even  more tough.

Troubles can come to feel like unwelcome visitors, overstaying their welcome and being totally indifferent to how incredibly challenged they can make you feel. And sadly I can inadvertently add to my suffering by trying to resist them by ‘overthinking mental gymnastics,’ in the hope of being rid of them.

But alas, we all have our particular crosses to bear on this earth-plane. As some wise soul once said, “The rain rains both on the just and the unjust alike.” And as Existential philosophers and Buddhists have similarly said, there  is suffering in the world- that’s part of the deal of being in existence.

So the most and least we can do is not add to our suffering as doing so prolongs their stay and keeps suffering coming, again and again and again. The most Powerful, Healing and Peace-Inducing thing we can do with trouble is to Accept it, and as the 13th century Persian poet Rumi invites us to do in his poem ‘The Guest House,’ meet our troubles at the door laughing, letting them in. I am not quite at the meeting my troubles at the door ‘laughing’ stage, yet.

Oftentimes hidden deep within our suffering is a gem of divine wisdom, waiting to be received as the joyous gift it is. But since we humans tend to like learning lessons the hard way, trouble has no choice but to keep come a-knocking, and sometimes banging at resistance door.

I used to think Acceptance was- and felt a lot like – defeat. Acceptance felt like giving in and choosing to be the loser. But it is not. There is Power in Acceptance.

There is Power and Peace in Acceptance, and at the heart of it, Simple Sweet Surrender – Acceptance’s Big Brother. In the act of Acceptance the old unyielding me Surrenders to the Authority of Love. And in that risk taking vulnerability, my soul feels reprieved: free to truly live and love and fully be, connected to That Inner Source that sustains the whole, and me.

The way to Surrender is through Acceptance. There is no other route. Also the act of Acceptance increases Trust, Faith and Patience in a Process under its own Influence.

And yes, in actual fact, Acceptance does feel like a defeat and death even- be it more psychological in kind. It is the death/letting go of socially sanctioned old and worn out habits, dying; hard. In Surrender we are saying, “I’m here, take me, as I am, and ought to be; take me in naked transparency. I commend my spirit to You. In You – and You in me- I am strong, incredulously even when I am weak.”

So, don’t get it twisted, Surrendering to Love is a great act of Courage and Inner Strength. Standing up -and falling down- for Love means following Her ‘True & Just’ Ways, righteously balancing out The Scales, and as George Orwell once said- which also applies on the personal plane,

“The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it.”

Crucifying and assassinating the truth -tellers even. Then when they are dead & out of the way, giving them  Honour and Praise. Death, be it physical or psychological, is oftentimes the price that gets paid for living a life that is wholeheartedly right for you. That is why some people do run scared, rather than stand still and face their fears…

Therefore Surrendering to Love and following Love’s Ways, I say once again, is an act of Courage and Strength. It is also humbling and fills one with Grace.

Try Acceptance. Next time something not very pleasing happens to you, don’t fight it- let it be, and let be the associated ‘difficult’ feelings that comes with it. Start small and bear witness to the Peace and Emotional Release that flows from bearing ‘the difficult’ in this more Accepting way.

I have been particularly using the rush hour on the underground to further Strengthen this Practise of Acceptance. Practise makes Perfect. Practise makes good-enough humans, who for the most part, strive to treat others right, as they wish to be treated. Yes, that ancient old golden rule, which from kindergarten we should have already been schooled.

I don’t allow myself to get caught up (i.e. become unconscious) in the dense energy of competitiveness, fighting, pushing, shoving to get on the tube; to get a seat, and basically have things go, ALWAYS, the way that we want. I also Practise releasing the temptation to walk/move at that ‘Armageddon coming’ rat race pace. And if someone pushes in front of me, I let them be.

The egotistical side of me did not at first find doing any of this Practise enjoyable, but the Peace that comes with not allowing one’s self to get caught up in fleeting unpleasant forgettable moments, is undeniable. And at the end of each day I am that little bit less stressed because I have not given as much of my Life Energy, unnecessarily, away.

Oftentimes what serves me as a good reminder on this journey is in that moment when the temptation to engage in power struggles beckons, I ask myself, “Is this random situation worth my Inner Peace? And worth me, through the daily build-up of stress, becoming dis-eased and unwell?” And for me, for the most part, the reply is a resounding “Hell No!”

It is all still very much a work in Process, but like I said, the Growing & Lasting Inside- out Peace & Joy, is definitely more than worth it.

Peace & Love,

Light…

Joy In The Unknown…©

“The door to God is the insecurity of not knowing anything. Bear the grace of that uncertainty and all wisdom will be yours.” Adyashanti

I am sure many of us have heard the term “fear of the unknown,” and/or have experienced it in our lives. Over the years, whilst reading various spiritual text and being on this self-transformation journey away from fear and toward love resting more securely deep within the core of me, I have come across the idea that there is nothing to fear in the unknown- with NOTHING being the operative word.

It has taken me a minute to appreciate that the unknown is basically unknown, and therefore, basically unoccupied. All the fear we associate with the unknown comes from all the fear we project, and/or, dump into it- a bit like what gets done under the label of ‘racism.’ For example, Racists have no good reason to hate black folks- its all hot air…all their own self-hatred, projected out…

The unknown is an empty space: an empty space of Pure Potential; of Unconditioned consciousness.

Recently whilst re-reading Deepak Chopra’s ‘The Seven Spiritual Laws to Success,’ what he had to say on the unknown and uncertainty resonated more deeply within me, especially at this present time. For the past year and a half specifically, I have been thrown into the unknown and am being called to have a more trusting and surrendered relationship with it; releasing the need for control.

In my childhood, and right through to now, I have made getting to know more about life, and all subjects relevant to life, my absolute business. During my formative years, having grown up in an atmosphere of the unexpected and the unknown, where I was left mostly alone and to my own devices, I had to figure life out myself and find ways to best be and live within it. Therefore, extricating some kind of control over life, and all things in it, became order of the days for me.

In whatever unobtrusive way I was able to gain some elementary illusion of control, and to create some kind of a plan, I took it. This gave me some hope, as well as helped me cope with extremely testy situations I faced back then. During that time, to not have had this control seeking coping mechanism, would have meant me totally losing touch and track with reality and falling completely into mental illness. Therefore seeking control saved me, psychologically- and spiritually.

In school, during adolescence, English, English literature and Sociology where the subjects I truly enjoyed because of my love as a child of reading and writing- and the much needed escape it afforded me. My love of sociology came about from this need to KNOW, as much as possible about life, not just for knowing sake, but for the sake of life not so easily coming up behind me and biting me in the butt. I am very much the kind of person who would rather know something- however awful- rather than be kept in the dark. For me ignorance is far from bliss! So the acquisition of knowledge gave me understanding on various topics, and in so doing afforded me a sense of further control.

This early need to know, and the fear experienced, (and traumatically lived), of not knowing, made the unknown- whether a new and exciting situation, or a challenging and unexpected one, a very scary concept for me, unconsciously. Over the years I have come to carefully, and oftentimes painstakingly, dismantle fear after fear, giving up certain behaviours that used to help me manage my fears. For example, an eating disorder, not speaking up for myself, kissing frogs and trying to “make them” love me in the ways that I need; giving at the expense of myself, to multitudes of vampires waiting in line to happily suck me dry!

Having lived with so much fear in my formative years, no doubt releasing the need for fear will continue to be life’s work for me. For the likes of me – and others who too have lived through Adverse Childhood Experiences- I don’t think there will ever be a point on this life journey when I am totally fear free; I am now very cool with that. I am a Survivor and I honour, give voice to, and make beautiful those battle scars, especially through the transformative medium of creative writing and living my best life possible. Like an Eagle flying high, I over-came, and will continue to over-come as I journey on. I’m my own Shero! And today I can safely say, that fear no longer drives me: Hope, Faith and Love occupy my driver’s seat.

Like previously mentioned, currently I have one situation that has been 18 months ongoing, and has thrown me into the unknown in a very big way. And because it is a situation that involves a loved one and as such I am unable to assume full control (which of course there is no such thing), it can all have me, at times- which I don’t mind admitting, scared shitless; excuse my French. This is a situation I have never had to deal with before, let alone so up close and personal, so I am very much in territories unknown; though I am educating myself and learning loads.

This situation is much more of a marathon than it is a sprint, and comes with many ups and downs- though Up is always winning. And being spiritually-inclined as I am, I am able to find comfort in the following idea that,

“All things are working together for me- and my loved one- Greater Good.”

All I can do is play my hand as best as I can and keep alert – and/or internally quiet enough to Hear my next step.

So this situation is a great teacher for me, and though I am far from learning its lessons, being still in the thick of it, in the greater scheme of things- and coming from such meagre beginnings- If I do say so to and for myself, I am doing very well!

The great lessons I am experientially learning- and I say experientially because reading a book about a thing is much different than living that situation and gaining the wisdom embedded deep within it; the main lesson for me is to resist the temptation of filling the unknown with a whole bag load of fearful thoughts and imaginings, as in the world I/we have been very well conditioned to do so. Instead, I am cultivating, and holding to, the metaphysical fact of the following,

“All of creation, everything that exists in the physical world, is the result of the unmanifest transforming itself into the manifest. Everything that we behold comes from the unknown. Our physical bodies, the physical universe- anything and everthing that we can perceive through our senses- is the transformation of the unmanifest, unknown, and invisible, into the manifest- known & visible” Deepak Chopra

I believe- and can feel- that the empty land of The Unknown is rich & life-giving soil/soul, and when we find ourselves in The Unknown, we must be careful not to fill that deep, dark, vibrant soil with seeds of fear and doubt. And if – though more precisely when, fearful thoughts rises up again, don’t allow those divisive thoughts to have the last word. Instead root them out, and cover them over with, life-giving affirmations and/or prayers. One of my favourite affirmations that I use quite regularly is:

“I trust in The Process Of Life. I am safe.”

I also keep a number of quotes that resonates with me, close to me, acting as re-minders constantly, for example:

“When you bring consciousness to the moments in which you feel afraid or challenged, you will see that you can choose love and kindness over reactive emotional patterns.”

So the true and more productive attitude, and personal relationship we ought to have in regards to uncertainty and the unknown, is one of excitement and joyful anticipation; is one of expectancy, like an excited expectant mother feels toward the bundle of joy that she is carrying, and will soon have to hold, in her hands: The Whole World, In the Palm of Her Benevolent Creative Protective Hands.

Peace & Love,

Light..