This year so far feels to be flying by for me. I am still very much on track as far as being committed to Happiness is concerned as well as honing Acceptance and Response Ability. Life can take over, but I’m still in the driving seat with those particular Intentions.
My ongoing Achilles heel is the challenge of relaxing and claiming that stillness. I mean, I am good with that when meditating and love the Very Sweet Deep Peace to be found in that “Within;” but going about my day, I do struggle. I do struggle to do less & be more; to switch doing off and come down into Being, and receive therein, from That Well-Being Source. I know where that comes from…read my book Back to love...But as I write this, I am reminded of a quote by Paulo Ceolho. It goes…
“A mistake repeated more than once is a decision. “
In my instance, it’s a choice repeated more than once is a decision, or a decision yet to be more fully and completely made; my choice being not to relax, especially when needed- especially when opportunities to relax presents itself to me. I think I will do the following exercise to see if I can more uproot this Persistent Visitor (a PTSD trauma response) in my life. Persistent Visitor is a term used by Jack Kornfield in his book A Path With Heart.
This exercise I got from John Welwood in his book Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships. It is an exercise used to aid The Process of cultivating ever Greater Presence & Capacity To Be With Emotional Experience. We inadvertently add to our (legitimate) suffering when we flee from the emotional and its associated feeling of difficulty and pain. When we flee from the heart’s angst, instead of allowing that angst to flow; to work itself out; to pass; we end up standing in the way of Peace & Joy and all the real & true things in the secret chambers of our hearts, we truly want…
The author works with the following principles in this exercise: Acknowledging, Allowing, Opening & Entering…
I apply this exercise to my difficulty in Allowing myself to settle, relax, let go, and simply Be, with all that IS, Now -inside & out…
I have to Acknowledge that relaxing is a challenge for me, for all the reasons spoken about in my autobiography book, Back to love. Relaxing and letting go is a very daring act as once a upon a time, in my most formative years, relaxing was not a good thing to be doing. Doing so came to mean putting myself in harm’s way. I lived in hypervigilance back then, for survival sake. A survivor response.
I have to Allow that difficulty to be there. I say it again: To Be There. I have to Allow myself to lean into it, as much as I can…Giving Space to difficulty, like the sky Gives Space to the earth to live move and have its being- and all the other planets. We are all, on this earthplane, being Held in that All Encompassing Space…Think about it…We are held-up in no thing, just Space..
I have to Open myself to where the difficult will take me…I have to Trust, by trusting, that Opening to the difficult will be the best thing I could do for my Here & Now Wellbeing. If we can stay long enough with this Opening, we find that as the difficult reaches its peak, there exist, within the angst, The Promise: The Promise & Reward of Sweet Release, from the pain… from the prison of angst..
As I am Entering the difficult, the emotional pain, there is that Space, that Expansion, and the difficult begins to dissipate, to evaporate; to take us beyond…beyond pain to Joy, from wound to wonder…to greater Inner Harmony & Togetherness, that naturally spills out…like The Cup that runneth over..
Take, at a minimum, 15 minutes to try this exercise when you are upset about something, and/or need to relax and get off autopilot. Try for a maximum of 30 minutes- and/or as long as you like. Keep trying this until, like a muscle consistently exercise, this Practice & Way of Being grows, and its benefits soars, from the inside-out.
I am off to do this now and will take this month of March to remember to Practice more concertedly and pointedly, relaxing, into the day, into the task, into the being and the doing of no thing.
Peace & Love,
P.S. On Trauma & Recovery…if interested read my book Back to love…