Oftentimes, and in the old days, Fathers, you were relegated to the sidelines of Family Life; to the back of things, with the world not fully grasping that your input is equally needed and valued..
Only you can Protect in that Super-Powered way: the one that keeps predators away, keeping children safe.
I wish you can see how much children needs you and how children can suffer so without your Divine Presence and involvement. This I say to All fathers.
For the Black father, in particular, the African, Caribbean, British, Nubian, my heart bleeds for you, and mostly bleeds because in the Western world your power has been trampled on & taken away…
Your influence, ripped from under you, especially when we were slaves, its impacts still very visible today..
There is nothing more I want to see, than the brothers standing tall in this society, reclaiming and cherishing his family, taking back up that Reverency.
Please, my brothers, come back home. Our younguns miss & needs you so. They need that baritone voice that lets us & the world knows, exactly where the lines are drawn…to help us love ourselves, and our reflections.
Just like slavery, crack/cocaine came in the 80s to destroy our souls, no one watches that, no one does the maths…In the Americas it came, to Britain too, and the Caribbean..
But this black woman, this Sistah, this mother of sons, and aunts of daughters, loves you so, and those of you gone AWOL, Come back home…back home and seated in place for re/generation..
Children are naturally forgiving. They just want their parents to see them, love them, teach them, spend time with them, keep them in line, give them that self-love and self-confidence they need in this life, to avoid being twice defeated in the race, as Black African peoples. Please believe, ITS NEVER TO LATE..
It’s never to late, if you’ve lost touch, to put in the work. And if your children won’t let you correct your mistakes, because its taking them a minute or two to forgive your lack of previous involvement, there are many other unfathered boys and girls in need of your kind of your time, your care, and protection.
We need the black mother and father, together again, and United; loving each other, visibly, so our children can internalise how black love looks, loves, feels, acts. Brothers & Sistahs Let’s stop tearing each of up!
Too much inner city trauma and blues. Now is the time to choose: to choose what’s best for the children..
So Daddies, come back home, to the fold, and let us, the black family unit, pick up where slavery plucked us, and our true stories left off…
Pick up and put ourselves map on The Map of Founding Mothers & Fathers, as Nature- not us- Planned it.
Prodigal Father, Come Home, the younguns needs you so!
The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman. Malcolm X
What Do Black Women Want?
What Does Black African American, Caribbean Women Want?
From the world, what She wants is to be equally valued, respected, treated fairly, as everything human came out of Her and Returns to Her, though the world steals from Her, carbon copy Her, without credit; with no shame. Like slavery days, when it was okay to beat Her, vilify Her, AND allow Her to feed your child from Her breast…which tells me, deep down, you know Her true worth..as the following quote says..
The soul has no secret that the behaviour does not reveal. Lao Tzu
Deep in your soul, you know; deep in the world’s soul, it knows…
You can’t keep a Good Woman down.
From Her white Sistreens, especially in the world of work, What the Black Woman Wants from you is for you to stop taking Her assertiveness and Her fight against injustice, so personally!
When She is targeted and gets caught up in it-in the isms & kisms, stop calling that aggressive! Own that aggression that the hand of privilege has raised you up on; then come again, corrected, then maybe we can become more united and together truly work towards the dismantlement of women hating patriarchy.
And from the Brothers, don’t get it twisted, before all this came to be, We existed, as One, in a Garden called Bliss, made in Love’s Image; joined together as Foundation of Ancient Civilisation & Beyond. Founding Mothers & Fathers. As it was in the beginning, so shall it be Above. So embrace Her, don’t chase Her away, She’s your complimentary and needs you in all kinds of ways, as your struggle mirrors hers & is one of the same.
If you hate on Her and deliberately choose as your pride Other than Her, know that (unconsciously) you are throwing shade and hating on yourself and on your race.
Choose another if you wish, just don’t solely base that decision on wanting to get away with shit, by playing “guilt trip,” and placing the Other on it…I will leave it there. As Bob Marley said, “If the cap fits, wear it;” if it don’t, there won’t be no need for defensiveness.
And to Us Sisters, please feel allowed to lay down your arms, at necessary times, and do away with completely living out the myth of the strong black woman. That you most definitely are, but you are also very human. So stop acting as if you can do it all by yourself and don’t need no one else, least of all a man. That talk is just hurt and disappointment. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, I promise you, all hell won’t break loose. I know being vulnerable is difficult to do in a world where you are being constantly assaulted, overlooked and abused. But for wellbeing sake you simply have to. You’re tired. Tired makes us miserable.
And in regards to being parents, let’s all the more raise our boys to be grown men, as in our love for him and how mistreated He too is in this world, we can unconsciously overcompensate, getting in the way of his growth, treating Him as eternal little boy. And as young men and grown men, when they fall, and/or the world knocks them down, don’t rush to go pick them; help them to Rise Up themselves. Give them the measuring stick of a King. Help them to experience that kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.
And for the Girl Child, don’t weigh her down so early in caregiving responsibility, let her have that room to breathe, to be, to please herself. Teach her self-care by modelling that behaviour yourself: that’s how children learn, not by what you say and don’t do. Equally as important, teach her how to make and keep boundaries. By doing so you will save her from many a broken heart later on and keep her safe from perverts who prowl around childhoods.
As the following quote says about the value of boundaries..
Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.
I will leave the topic of hair here (smiles).
This subject is obviously very emotive for me as a Black Woman of African Caribbean Heritage..as a voice still unheard and unreckoned with across the diasporas; relegated to the bottom of many a pile. But I smile, cos, you see, given a choice, I would still come back into this world as me, as there is a certain wisdom that comes from being in that bottom of the pile position; to quote Harriet Lerner,
In relationships between dominant and subordinate groups, the subordinate group members always possess a far greater understanding of the dominant group members and their culture than vice versa.
I do not claim to speak for all Black Women. I speak from my experience of being one. And I speak from all the Black Women who have peopled my world, past and present. I write this piece to provide some clarity to those truly interested in knowing What Black Women Wants. This question has already been mused generically based primarily on White European Women wants & needs, but as you can see, as sisters, the world has made our needs and wants very different.
I have also created this piece as tribute, a tribute I believe Black women are incredibly worthy and deserving of. So when inspiration struck this week during my morning jog, I quickly had to put pen to page and overarchingly say,
You BLack Woman Are Beautiful, Original, Phenomenal..
You, We deserve to be here! Here & equally cherished, protected, loved, revered!
You have been Instrumental in the making of this world!!
Life Sees You and Knows Your Intrinsic Value. I say that again,
Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love. And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said: When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself He threshes you to make your naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.” And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
7th January 2021…Available to buy Now on Preorder at Amazon!
Sometimes we can- who we truly are can, get lost in the dust of our own raising. The world can write all over us creating all kinds of erroneous beliefs, life experiences and chances. But we are made from Awesome Material. We have a Power within us, that something inside us soo strong, to recover and reassemble our One True Self, which returns us Back to love, and in so Being & doing, helps us create bigger and better things for ourselves…way outside of the so called good opinions of others…
Creating bigger & better things in the face of a world that would have us believe is not possible, preferring instead for us to believe we are not worthy and are far from deserving of. My book, Back to love, Shows and Tells how I did just that for myself.
Writing, and taking up the Recovery & Self-Rediscovery Journey Back to love, was a labour of love I wholeheartedly took on and completed, not just for myself, but for my race; for my loved ones; for those who have never known self-love; for the world…
It is my belief that whatever hand life deals us, we are called to Live & Be The Light..
Lights Of The World…
..in a world that continuously needs lighting up…more so than ever in 2020..