Sometimes I just tire of this world. I tire of the same ole same ole. The same ole struggles in my personal life; the same ole struggles and heartache in the world. I just tire of it all. Not that I’d rather not be here, but being the kind of person I am who feels things so deeply and personally, the same ole same ole can truly weigh on me.Being an optimist at heart, I hold a lot of hope for the world: for the difference our daily individual efforts can and does make. Yet still I tire from the same ole same ole…

The same ole news, just with different players and presenters. The same ole going round and round in circles thinking if we turn a blame eye to things somehow things will get better of their own accord. Then the same ole exclamation of dismay and outrage when the same ole crime and disasters continue to happen, taken up a notch or two further. Tired of people not realising that unless one get to the root of problems and do something with that information, the same ole same ole will continue to happen. This is not rocket science…

Just tired of the same ole same ole, and my personal life is just the same…well, that is a bit harsh because I live in a certain self-awareness, as well as work and live at the root of all things. But some things remain persistent, like my struggle with embracing all of my feelings; my struggle with self-acceptance; my struggle with food; my struggle with relaxation. I know these struggles are deep rooted, born out of a time when it worked in my best interest as a matter of survival to not accept myself; to eliminate my feelings and constantly push them away. To avoid relaxation and remain ever vigilant least I miss someone coming up behind me and feeling entitled to treat me in all kind of ways. Looking forward to good tasting foods that emotionally soothes; developing quite a dependence on that in the absence of safe and supportive parental figures. And so it goes on…

Just fed up and tired at the minute: a very long off and on minute. But being an optimistic at heart, someone who believes that life and human beings, at the core, are basically good, I keep on keeping on. And keep on sharing my love light for anyone going through a dark period of time. Though tired I refuse to be defeated in the ‘difference making’ business. And however dark my period of time, I continue to allow my little light to shine.

Peace & Love,

Light..